Preparing for the Next Era
This week felt like a tight squeeze through an emotional roller coaster cave. I spent considerable time at the motorhome working with my hands to touch the metals, move away the dust and get in the crevices on the inside. It took 2 giant trash bags, loads of decisions for what stays and leaves, a helping hand from close friends, and an insecurity bared for all to see. My grounded trepidation yelled out at one point, YES! The allowance to be sad, grateful, excited, a mess, and strong beyond belief for shirking the dangerous levels of being unhoused. The motorhome is dirty and can use a bit of deep cleaning. It is not that ginormous inside which is good, the area that is there will be fully inspected if I am to bring a tiny being into its belly to thrive.
The reality of what it will take to turn this 1983 GMC into a safe and thrivable, full time home for me and Clove feels massive yet completely doable if only to move at a slower pace.
Cleaning Out the Interior and Surveying What Is Ahead
One of the biggest tasks this week was beginning the cleanup process inside the motorhome.
There was a significant amount to sort through and clear out, but spending time inside was pleasantly kind and gentle. My hands on visual learning self imagined what daily life may need to look like, that will be ongoing. This visit began to mold a piece of the puzzle that was missing. The brief but productive time also surveyed the exterior more carefully and began noting the areas that need attention to better protect the rig from weather and the elements. My imagination was running wild and more free. Each step reveals both the challenges ahead and the possibilities.
Making Plans for Full Time Living
I also made space to wonder about layout efficiency, weight, trash, water systems, heating, cooling, keeping air moving through the vehicle and keeping bugs to a minimum, food storage, Clove care, my care, and community care. This is just a different way of living than what has been in my sights for over 30 years. The full scope of the project is still at the beginning stages so first things first. Maintenance of presence when you want to soar is silliness and hard, necessary and worth every ounce. This process involves balancing limited space with comfort, safety, storage, and functionality. It is becoming crystal what needs to stay simple, what needs improvement, and what will make the biggest impact for return to a nourishing, routine balance and stability with progress for long term.
Major Administrative Progress
This week we obtained the new title, registered the motorhome, registered to vote, rented a storage unit, and began investigating the proper insurance and roadside assistance coverage. Every step away from an urban life continued the spiral to transform this motorhome into a fieldwork base, physical home base, and quiet, safe space for rebuild.
Preparing to Leave Our 10-Year Home
The rest of the week was focused solely on preparing to move away from a space that was built from the artist community, a pandemic and lockdown, public transformation with death, brutality, conscious awareness, and ugly truths all around us. My 15 year old feline left the planet in this space and another feline took up residence with the embodiment of a stoic, careful, thoughtful, tiny shadow image. I lost myself and found myself a million times over under the safety of these four walls. My business closed and reopened again. I made many genuine friends and gentle acquaintances that either brief or steadfast, remain as part of the tenderness with humanity. It is excavation time through years of belongings, pairing things down, deciding what moves forward with us. It is my understanding now that so many of these items are ready to sail on. A piece of me disappears and leaves open space all around.
Thank You for Continuing to Support Us
To the humans, communities, families, and personal friends that remain on the path of this journey… you have helped put fuel on the fire, mined stones for strength, wisht waters of growth, and breathed when there was no air. Thank you.
Your support and tenacity continues to lend forward movement during one of the most uncertain periods of my life, and I do not take that for granted. In fact, I come back to this journal for updates because of you.
Clove is watching all of this with a sturdy play routine and curiosity that lets me know she is ready. We are ready. The road ahead continues. Now if I can just find my warm socks. :)
WE ARE ON OUR WAY THERE.
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